….. and why we might be better of quitting
Wether or not we are employed in the field of sales we are most likely acting as a sales person in some area of our lives. Most interactions between two or more people revolve around trying to get someone else to see the worth in our products or ideas. In business the product can be anything from a new sports car to the latest running shoe and in personal relationships it is most often ourselves. We are made believe that we could become successful at anything in life if we only know how to best present and convince others that we have something they not only want but really need . The better we are at this, the more likely the other person is to pay exactly the price we ask for. Yet, while we might have gained something in the short-term (the money, the attention, the good reputation, a feeling of accomplishment) and filled an instant need we actually end up paying a high price ourselves.
The very principles that lie underneath this idea of “selling” are only creating dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships in all areas of live. Living purely based on satisfying our wants that we mistake for needs will inevitable trap us in a place where the only way to get exactly this is to manipulate, be dishonesty and exploit others. This is a good recipe for a meaningless and empty existence that will keep us in a vicious circle of needing more from others to fill us up.
Some might say that there is nothing wrong with selling because after all there might be something valuable provided to someone else. The real problem does not actually lie in the value or in wanting to give. The only trouble is that in selling there is always a price tag of some sort attached; we are never giving freely because there is always the expectation to get something in return.
If these expectations are not met then and we are afraid to lose out on the “deal” e.g. not get the money, attention or praise we deserve, many of us are willing to sacrifice and compromise our values. We are selling our selves short so to speak only to get what we think we need. If we are able to let go of exactly this notion we can let go off the need to sell and build a solid and healthy foundation of self-worth, self-respect and dignity.
If we stop depending on the external world to give us what we hope to gain out of selling an idea, a product, or ourselves the need to manipulate others will vanish. We are suddenly free to relate to the people in our lives without trying to work out how we can get them to do what we want them to. We will no longer judge people based on what we could get out of them. Rather we can freely welcome them into our lives, get to know them on a deeper level and be grateful for another opportunity to also learn more about ourselves.
With this we can also start to be and live authentically. When we are genuinely interested in people and are relating to them on their level we are free to exchange ideas or understandings the way they are instead of trying to present them or us in the most attractive way. But even more importantly, nothing comes with a price tag anymore. There is no convincing and no creating of value needed because the other person either sees the value of something we have to offer for themselves or they do not. By letting go of the need to sell we give ourselves permission to be honest and allow the other person to stand in their truth as well.
In essence, moving beyond the concept of selling will take us to a place of knowing that everything we really need is always provided for. We will get to see that we exist in a flow of energy where the notion of owning something someone else ought to buy does not work. There is only an exchange of energy, which of course can be monetary, but it still is given freely. If we all stopped selling we would simply become open to let energy flow through us to wherever it is needed and whomever requires it.
Once we begin to see we are in this flow and trust the process of life we no longer need to take part in the game of selling, manipulating, convincing, analysing others and putting on a show. With this we are creating a new paradigm in which people are no longer driven by fear and wake up from illusion of the lack of resources and austerity. A feeling of emptiness that used to be filled up with our “sales” will be replaced by a more meaningful way of existence.
I challenge you to face your fear, stop selling and start giving freely, be authentic, love unconditionally and share your abundance with others.
Photo Credit: Kris