As we travel along in life there are many people who cross our path. Some are meant to walk along side us for a long time while others may accompany us for only a short time. There are those people too who are very present in our lives and still others who we only see occasionally yet still feel deeply connected to. The frequency of our contact with someone and the length of time they are in our life does not determine the quality of friendship and love for someone. Neither does it really matter if we agree on everything with someone else, have the same kind of job, background or family life. Yes, we might feel more connected to the people we relate to in certain areas but that is not the only important factor in true, meaningful friendships.
The most loving and caring relationships are those in which two people allow each other and themselves to to stand in their truth. To let someone be exactly the way they are at this present moment is an act of deep acceptance and love. When we give someone else the freedom to be who they are we show respect to them and ourselves. Essentially we are saying that we do not need to change anything about some external situation in order to feel okay ourselves. When we are able to do and live that our ego has let go off the need to control things outside ourselves we actually have no control over.
Yet, if we truly care about someone we are also aware of our responsibility to speak up when we can see something that may be harmful to the other person. There are different ways of going about this, which is another indicator of how much love there is in the relationship. A real friend will be honest, without the intention to hurt the other person or the fear of how the other person might react. If we really love someone we will know when we need to be honest regardless of wether the other person will agree or not. Enabling someone else in a destructive behaviour or undertaking only reflects our own fears of being left alone. This is the reason we sometimes stay in unhealthy relationships rather than walk away with dignity.
In a healthy, loving relationship both parties are able to establish boundaries while knowing how to be vulnerable at the same time. To let someone else have their own truth requires the ability to know our own and to not allow someone else’s truth to interfere negatively with that. A true friend will have enough self-love and self-respect to be able to walk away from unhealthy situations if needed.
Loving someone requires trust, honesty, and integrity not so much from the other person but from ourselves. Cultivating these traits in ourselves and learning how to be our own best friend is going to ultimately increase the quality of our relationships. Once we have let go off needing to be loved and approved of by other people we find that we can simply let love flow through us and receive the same in return. When standing in our own truth we are much more receptive to the love around us. We can then accept others for who they are, welcome them into our lives and let them go when the time has come. This is love!
With Love & Light
Thank you to all those people in my life who have taught me how love. You know who you are
Photo Credit: Leland Francisco